I love the Marvel movies, the same like I loved the Marvel comics those many years ago.  The thing that makes me love Marvel films even more is the fact that they pick the perfect actors for the roles.  (…take a look at DC with their Michael Keaton as Batman – hehehe – thing is Keaton is such a good actor, he made it believable.)

 

I any case, I digress. (Digress – Lose clarity or turn aside especially from the main subject of attention or course of argument in writing, thinking, or speaking) (my spanking new The Sage in action)

 

Robert Downey Jr is THE PERFECT Tony Start.  Chris Evans is THE PERFECT Captain America.  PERFECT.  Evans was even more perfect as The Human Torch.

 

Mark Rufalo is perfect in the role of Bruce Banner.  Scarlett Johanson is very good in the role of Black Widow, etc. etc.

 

BUT Spiderman!!!  No, guys, please.  I don’t know about the actor who plays the role, but it was always SpiderMAN and never SpiderBOY.

 

“Oh please Mr Stark.”

“Thank you, Mr Stark.”

“What do I do now Mr Stark?”

“How should I fight this villain, Mr Stark?”

“Mr Stark, I’m going to lie down now and then I want you to pee all over me, Mr Stark.”

 

NO, NO, NO, that is NOT Spiderman.

 

Spiderman would call Ironman something like “old tin pot” or “metal head”

or “foil brain”, something like that, but never “Mr Stark”, especially when they are in costume.

 

Wow!

 

Where was Stan Lee when they filmed this blasphemy?

 

Toby McGuire wasn’t a perfect Spiderman, but he was good in the role.  For me Andrew Garfield was perfect in the role of Spiderman.  They should have done their best to keep him in that role for the Avenger movies.

 

I must also say that there is nothing wrong with this new actor playing the role, except that he is playing the role wrongly.  It can be that he never read the comics and thus doesn’t know Spiderman.

 

(The guys who are producing and directing these films where teenagers at the same time that I was.  And as teenagers we all read comics.  How is it that some of them seem not to know the comics at all?  Don’t get me wrong, some of the changes in the movies are good.  For example in real life superheroes would never wear colorful costumes, so the darkening of most of the costumes are good.)

 

In any case:

 

I knew Spiderman, Spiderman was a friend of mine.  And YOU my friend, are no Spiderman

If there’s one thing I hate with a passion in this world, it’s a fly.  As soon as I see a fly I become a murderous lunatic.  I hit out at them with mostly anything at hand, destroying and spifflicating things that stand in the way of my rage.

I really can’t explain this red hot hatred I have of flies, because the truth is they never did me any harm.

Maybe I am jealous of their super reaction time and speed.  A fly will sit dead-still against a wall, as if it is the most natural thing in the world to sit at a ninety degree angle.  I will slowly approach with my strip of cardboard with which I mean to murder it in a grand fashion.  Slowly, slowly.  Moving the piece of cardboard millimetres from the object of my rage, ready to crush it.  Then I hit out with all my power, certain that insect is crushed to death.  The next second I it  happily buzzing around my head, the space where he sat nano-seconds ago empty and abandoned.

How can this damn, filthy thing move this fast?

But I do get them by other means.  I buy strips of sticky chinese fly-paper and hang it up.  There is something in the glue that draws the fly to it.  When the fly lands on the fly-strip it becomes stuck in the glue.  I will then look up at the desperate fly, struggling with all his power to get loose from the glue, gleefully laughing and dancing.  Another one bites the dust.

I don’t know, maybe this hatred of flies is part of my author insanity.  You can’t be an author and be sane at the same time.  So I guess this is it.

And despite all of this, I have two flies walking on my computer screen via software called Fly-on-Desktop.

The thing is why are flies the only insects with red blood like humans?  What if our souls are send into flies when we die.  And those irritating flies buzzing around our heads are relatives and friends trying to make contact with us?

Oh, God…